Lapsadaisacal

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! If I was a celebrator of Valentine's day I'd probably throw that one out there too, because I could possibly have another lapse and not be heard of for months.

Let me assure you, the lack of writing in no way correlates to a lapse of eating and cooking. Since my last post I've eaten my ass off...which in the hilariously illogical English language means that my ass is now HUGE.

Ok, not really, but as I try to happily accept my January plumpness (which I apparently did better last year), a result of many happy family meals and gatherings, I'm dealing with a minute culture shock. The other day someone asked me "Engordaste?" (Did you gain weight?/Did you fatten?). I'm not sure if it's that I'm just not used to people saying direct things to me about my weight, my midwest experience that only family members in the 60-plus category made negative weight comments to you, or the cognate ring in my ear of the word "engorge" that bothered me, but as a result I've tried to eschew more delicious baddies in a post-Christmas penance than normal.

That being said, I will never be a strict regimen person, in any form, but especially not food. I'm an ineffectual self-motivator, because I already know all my convincing tricks and that I make up facts and statistics 97% of the time.

So my "restricting myself" entailed turning down a cookie yesterday, and still eating 3 avocados before dinner. I'm going for minimum self-denial and avoidance of people that speak openly and honestly, and I should feel good and conceited again shortly.

No matter how many questions I may get or how squishy I may feel, one thing I will never restrict from my diet is the almighty sandwich (honestly, it's one of many, but this is a segue and I've already established that nobody likes or wants honesty, so callate).

During Christmas my sister introduced me to a fantastic cookbook, 'Wichcraft, which has less jinxes and curses than I initially hoped, but an ample amount of delicious sandwich recipes. We used it as inspiration for our "Fancy Sandwich New Year's Eve."

There was a roast turkey, bacon, avocado, and balsamic onion marmalade sandwich that caught my eye, not only because it sounds ridiculously delicious, but because a year ago, after making balsamic glazed onions for Christmas and then eating onion and eggplant marmalade at an incredible Italian restaurant in San Jose del Pacifico--I too developed a balsamic onion marmalade for sandwiches. But did not publish it in a book. And it made me angry, because I was hoping for intellectual property of this delicious condiment and had no curses to ragingly give people hiccups or nosebleeds...well, I had a certain kind of curse at my disposal, but my nephew is nearing a speaking age and I'm trying to refrain.

Once I made the marmalade and ate a pile of sandwiches, the urge to curse was out of satisfaction rather than hostility. So here, I present you, from a place at peace with having an idea that someone has already had and chubby thighs:

Balsamic Onion Marmalade
2 Tblsp Olive Oil
2 Medium Onions, sliced 1/4 inch thick
1/4 C Sugar
1/4 C Balsamic Vinegar

Heat olive oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook until tender and translucent. Turn heat to low. Add sugar and balsamic vinegar. Cook for about 35-40 minutes stirring occasionally and until thick and marmalady. So easy!

Enjoy on all kinds of sandwiches. I did a roasted yellow pepper and zucchini sandwich with manchego and topped with the marmalade just the other day and it was fantastic. You could even use it in an appetizer: melba toast with goat cheese and balsamic onion marmalade--sounds good to me. Maybe I'll get some other recipes going so I don't lapse and see more ideas in a cookbook by someone else. Or maybe I'll just eat.